Octrpus

Stop judging me, dammit let me breathe. I can not stand your presence anymore, You look at me and voice every little flaw in my broken body, I'm dragging myself along the ground to get to a better place and you just want to grab me by the hair and shoot me dead. You're psychotic, manipulative, I don't know what claim you think you have to invade someone else's personal space so aggressively, you are no father that's for sure. You constantly push me to be an adult , I'm nearly 20 yeah I know I'm 20  in 3 fucking days and you're just belittling me for not being good enough, you want me to be an adult but you try to cripple me for being weak, yo

I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I find each and every day an excruciating struggle. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that everytime I close my eyes my head is overburdened with dark thoughts and painful memories. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that sometimes I just need to curl up in bed all day and stop functioning as a human being. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that sometimes i do not make it my entire life's focus to make sure everything is clean. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I don't try hard enough, in your eyes I'm not trying at all. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you don't see my daily struggle my endless battle my never ending pain. I'm sorry that you're not sorry. I'm sorry For

I dream of the very same thing that I fear, Not just a simplistic fear like being scared of a spider or other insects because they creep you out, oh no this is a fear that anyone living and breathing usually has even if they think they don't. This dream is of a fear called death, a fear we Acknowledge as existing, it's something we talk about from time to time, an inevitable fate that is the only certain thing we know of our futures, yet it's so uncertain so mysterious, we know next to nothing about it and that is why it is such a great fear, some of us spin stories or follow stories that others spin up, like a cloudy kingdom in the sky full